from Manchester, UK. Poling for a year(had her poleversary just last month!)
10 Random Facts
1. I met Princess Diana when I was 5 and cried because my Mum forgot to give me flowers to give to her. The other kids’ Mum’s remembered. I was so angry.
2. My first pole-related injury was a broken toe months ago. To this day it’s still so painful and still hasn’t fully healed. I cried when it happened but no tears came out. The real tears came when the DR told me I had to stay off it for a least 2 weeks and it would take 4-6 weeks to heal, which meant no pole dancing. Some days after work I’d hug my pole for comfort, after around 4 days I tried to spin. It was then I realized I was addicted which ended with me having to take away the temptation by taking my pole down for a few weeks.
3. My Mum told me when she was pregnant with me I’d be still for ages and she’d get worried. Until she played music that is, and I’d swish around in her stomach like crazy. She said I’d dance to absolutely anything.
4. When I bought my 2nd pair of pleasers, I slept in them.
5. I have a beautiful black cat named Salem, he’s adorable. He’s also scared of Pleasers.
6. If someone makes eye contact with me, I ALWAYS smile. If they give me a bad look, I continue to smile.
7. Everyday for the past year I take breaks at work and go into the toilet with a full-length mirror and I dance for a few minutes.
8. My real job is working as an Engineering and Defence Recruitment Researcher which I love!! I am the only female in my office so from time to time (all the time) I bore my boys with pole-talk. I get help from them on which shoes/outfits to buy. They pretty much see me as one of the guys because of my potty mouth and general vulgarity.
9. If people could describe me using three words, they’d probably choose crazy, insane and delirious.
10. I suffered from depression for nearly 3 years probably longer on and off. I’ve been free from the illness for 2 years. It has changed my outlook on life so now I live each day as I was meant to. Filled with happiness, love and laughter.
1. How did I get Started?
I’ve always wanted to pole dance but had heard so many stories of curvier girls being turned away from classes because the poles can only take a certain weight that I temporarily gave up on the idea of finding a class for ‘someone like me.’ Dancing is a HUGE passion of mine and whether I’m messing around or on a night out, it gives me the greatest feeling ever so not wanting to give up without a real fight a while later I decided to a search for classes in my area. I sent an email to the instructor who was really nice and reassured me that they’d never turn away or discriminate against someone because of their size, which was so nice to hear. I managed to coax my workmate into coming with me and since that day pole dancing has stuck and I love it.
2. My Advice to other curvy polers who may be discouraged
Don’t give up! There might be things you think are physically impossible because you have a little more to love, this isn’t true. I pole everyday and everyday I shock myself. I was adamant I couldn’t lay back, I was convinced that because I am so heavy chested I’d weigh myself down and end up injured again. I was so scared and didn’t trust myself enough to go all the way back. After poling for nearly a year I set myself a 10 day challenge in which I HAD to get my lay back and invert. I came home after a really trying day at work, warmed up and put my favourite song on, I also managed to get my lay back on the first try. Still no invert but it’s coming. Just don’t give up, keep pushing, keep trying, get support and condition.
Surround yourself with like-minded people. For me this is the girls at my pole class, my instructors and the entire Instagram/Twitter/Facebook community. Everybody is so friendly, so interact, compliment, inspire and be inspired.
Ignore the haters/bullies – This is easier said than done because I understand more than anything how one negative comment is enough to put you off. If this is something you love and are passionate about. Don’t let them and don’t retaliate. Use it as fuel to nail that move you’ve been working on and show them how great you are!
NEVER compare yourself – Comparing myself to others very-near ruined my pole journey. I’d watch dancers on YouTube and sometimes think there’s no point, none of my moves look how they’re supposed to. It’s frustrating and it’s a waste of time, you are you and we are different. Make your different work for you and people will love you for it. More to the point you’ll love yourself for it. Also never compare you journey to somebody else’s. I’ve had days where I’ve been so hard on myself because somebody who has been poling for the same amount (or less) time as me and is clearly better than me. It’s hard especially if you’re a competitive person. I turned pole dance into a competition against myself. Set your own goals and even better, ask questions. Ask how they got so good or if they have any tips for you. Don’t let it get you down.
Lastly, be yourself. Find your pole niche and explore others, combine styles do whatever you want. I feel like I’ve dabbled in a few different styles of pole dance. Tricks aren’t really for me and although I still try and I’m still nailing some I like to focus my attention on the more exotic side of things because dance and music is what I love. It makes me happy and it’s a style that suits me. Whatever works for you. Do it!
3. My Best and Worst Pole Experiences
My worst experience in pole dancing has to be the period of time I felt so awkward and uncomfortable at classes. This was nobody’s fault but my own. My friend had moved away to Australia so I’d end up going to classes alone, which was fine to begin with. All of a sudden, out of nowhere I began feeling so self-conscious and found myself in a funk. I ended up giving up classes for a few months which took away the support I needed (I wasn’t on instagram back then.) Luckily for me I had a pole at home and just needed to take the time alone in my own comfort zone to build my confidence back up. I ended up back at class feeling revived and better than ever.
My best experience was just that. Working hard on myself to get that confidence back and not giving up. My confidence is growing with each session. Not only do I trust myself enough to try out new things, I am able to post my videos and images freely on instagram for all to see. I don’t care that I have a tummy or that I’m not as slim as some, I don’t even see that when I dance, I just see someone who got their groove back and wants to inspire others to do the same, whether it’s in pole dance or not.
4. About Pole Stereotypes
Curvy girls can’t pole – Yes we can.
Black girls don’t/shouldn’t pole – Yes we do, yes we should.
All pole dancers are strippers – No we aren’t! So what if we are? Who even cares? Poledance is an art for some, a job that pays the rent for others, an exercise and a sport for the rest.
You need to have exceptional Upper body strength – Lies. I believed this for so long. I have zero upper body strength. No wait, I HAD zero upper body strength. Now I’m sat here looking like Terry Crews, lifting my own body weight with front row seats to my own gun show. Okay, okay I exaggerated, I’m not as muscly as Terry. I have however increased my upper body strength massively by pole dancing and by working out in the gym when I’m not on my pole.